This means that all of you had the opportunity to attend forums, workshops, video programs, and hear sermons, all designed to inform and challenge you to think and feel beyond the confines of the heterosexual perspective. Yes, the heterosexual perspective -- the one in which all of us, of all orientations, were raised.
Now we all know that there are issues facing the world that are more catastrophic than discrimination against GLBT people. To name a few: starvation in many parts of the world; the growing worldwide devastation of AIDS, creating millions of orphans; genocide by warring ethnic and nationalistic groups; not to mention racially motivated hate crimes and poverty here in our country.
But I have been asked here today to address the topic "Where Do We Go From Here?" using the UU principles and applying them to the relevance and ramifications of this congregation's new Welcoming Congregation status.
By now, you all know what homophobia is: the fear or revulsion of people who are attracted to the same gender as themselves. You know by now that homophobia can range in degree from blatant prejudice and even violence against GLBT people to more subtle versions, such as avoidance, discomfort, or dislike of GLBT people, but with a degree of civility. Do you know about heterophobia? Heterophobia is the fear of being treated badly by heterosexual people. The fear may include fear of physical harm, loss of job, loss of friendship, loss of respect, or fear of moral judgments, religious or political persecution, or continued curtailment of individual civil rights.
Without a scorecard, GLBT people do not know who is friend or who is enemy. Your vote for Welcoming Congregation status tells us that the UU church in Summit is a GLBT-friendly congregation, where we can, as much as possible, feel less heterophobic. I say less, rather than no heterophobia, because fears and cautions that have been learned deeply and lived for a lifetime require time and safety to erase.
Closely associated with heterophobia is cynicism. When GLBT people hear that an organization is "inclusive," we tend to take a skeptical stance, until we are specifically included. We learned from experience that if sexual orientation is not specifically named, it may not really be meant.
Your Welcoming Congregation status names us, so we know you mean it.
Do you wonder if you might be inundated with GLBT people? Don't count on it. GLBT people won't be coming here to church unless they feel a connection, a draw to the principles and religious doctrine. There are other gay-friendly churches. But if GLBT people have UU leanings, you have made your church a welcome place for them. You might want to do some outreach, because GLBT people, like most minorities, often assume they are unwanted, unless and until specifically told otherwise. If they come and see very, very few others like themselves, they might get an unintended message that this is not a GLBT-friendly place.
But then, why would the UU church in Summit want any GLBT people, anyway? For their decorating skills?
Let's go back to those Unitarian Universalist principles … they are awesome. But imagine those principles if they literally left out GLBT people:
We affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person (who in our church happen to be virtually all heterosexual).
We affirm and promote justice, equity and compassion in human relations (which in our church happen to be almost exclusively heterosexual humans).
We affirm and promote the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all … heterosexuals.
These principles hold you not just to what they say, but who makes up the group that believes in them and says them. This church may more fully live the UU principles when you, as a body, become more representative of "all," including at least a few more GLBT people.
You may have noticed that GLBTs don't seem to be coming to church in droves. Having been abused by fundamentalist and mainstream religions for centuries, we may be a little church-shy. And even if the UU church has always been in the forefront of liberalism and acceptance of GLBTs, you still suffer "guilt by association" (remember "heterophobia"?), so attracting GLBT people may be a challenge.
The church my partner joined, last year, literally invited us with a postcard campaign, stating that they were thoughtful, accepting, progressive, authentic, congregational and Christian. They also said they were inclusive. It said they welcomed people of every race, age, gender, marital circumstance, sexual orientation, physical or psychological ability, economic condition, ethnic origin and theological tradition. When I read the words "sexual orientation," my cynicism melted. Elaine and I said to each other, "They actually mean inclusive!" You may not decide to send postcards, but there are ways to reach out to a particular community, be it GLBTs, people of color, or any specific ethnic group. Find out ways to reach out to them. Perhaps through an ad in their newsletter, a letter to their leader, or a table at their festival.
We talked about expanding the make-up of who you are. Now we might address the concerns of GLBT people that may be your concerns as well. These concerns may affect you directly, if you are a GLBT person. They may affect you indirectly if you are the father, mother, sister, brother, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, nephew, niece, cousin, grandparent, grandchild, neighbor, friend, co-worker, client, employer, employee, etc. etc. etc., of someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Surely your friend, relative, associate means something to you. That person is a human being first, and a GLBT person second.
Maybe you don't know any or many GLBT persons. Maybe you know them but assume they are heterosexual. Many of us hide, you know, but that is changing.
We've hidden for many years, maybe out of shame, maybe to protect you from your discomfort, or maybe to protect ourselves from harm, from discrimination, or job loss. Or maybe for any or all of those reasons, at one time or another.
We're often assured that our sex lives are our business, that we should keep it to ourselves. That's easy. Being private about sex is not all that difficult. But being private about your sexual orientation is a different matter. Imagine trying to hide your heterosexuality from the rest of the world, because if they found out, you could be in physical, psychological, social or legal danger. You couldn't have a picture of your spouse on your desk at work, or have that person on your health plan. You would have to make sure you weren't seen too much with people of the opposite sex, especially with the same one. You'd need to be very private about how you spend your weekends, whom you go on vacation with, whom you live with. If you lost your significant other, you would need to be very discreet about your grief.
About 15 years ago, when I worked at Overlook Hospital, I was petrified that I would lose my job if anyone found out that I was gay. In my private life, I chaired a statewide conference for GLBT people. It was a big success, with the most attendance ever, and we actually made a profit. I had never done anything of that scope in my life, so I was very happy with my months of effort and our success. At the office the following Monday, someone asked about my weekend. "It was good," I said. They asked: What did you do? "Oh, not much," I said, "how about you?"
If I had told them the truth, which I was bursting to do, I would have revealed my secret identity as a lesbian, and I just wasn't ready to out myself and risk my career.
The safer you help make the world for us, the easier it will be for us GLBT people to be honest and open with you about ourselves. We don't need to tell you about our sex lives, but we wouldn't mind discussing events in our lives as comfortably as you do, without needing to tiptoe around to hide who we are.
What about the modern, hip GLBT who is out to everyone? I must seem pretty comfortable today, open about who I am, right? It took me years of therapy, support groups and personal growth. Many GLBT people are not this out and open yet, or may never be. They may need the world to be a much safer place before they are ready.
GLBT people have made great gains in respect and rights in this country, and especially in this state. But the concept of "peace, liberty and justice for all" is still a myth for me and other GLBT people.
In 38 of these United States, it is perfectly legal to discriminate against someone who is GLBT or perceived as such. In 18 states, a homosexual act is still considered a crime. Only 25 states have hate crime laws that address crimes based on sexual orientation. Fully 35 states have specific anti-same-sex-marriage laws.
The United States Congress overwhelmingly passed a law called the Defense of Marriage Act, specifically forbidding same-sex marriages. Among its sponsors were men with multiple marriages and divorces. The federal denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples means that 1,049 protections, benefits and responsibilities under federal law are denied to same-sex couples. These include such critical benefits as immigration rights for bi-national couples, and the right of a surviving spouse to receive Social Security benefits, if one partner should die before he or she can receive his or her own retirement benefits. Domestic partners are not included in the Family and Medical Leave Act, which grants up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to care for the employee's spouse with a serious health condition. A domestic-partners relationship is not recognized in the event of serious illness requiring next-of-kin decisions or visitation rights without special legal work done in advance. Even with a will, when a domestic partner dies and the survivor inherits half the property, he or she must pay inheritance taxes, unlike a married spouse.
GLBT elders lose hundreds of millions of dollars each year in benefits. Besides lack of Social Security survivor benefits, the Medicaid system does not allow a same-sex (unmarried) partner to retain his or her home without jeopardizing the spouse's eligibility for Medicaid coverage of nursing home care. A GLBT person does not receive the pension income of a deceased partner. In a survey of nursing homes, homophobia and neglect appeared widespread. A survey of physicians and medical students found that half witnessed colleagues providing reduced care or denying care to patients because of their sexual orientation, and 88 percent reported hearing colleagues make disparaging remarks about GLBT patients.
Our youth face problems of their own. Human Rights Watch, an international research and advocacy group, reported last month that 2 million U.S. teenagers were having serious problems in school because they were taunted with anti-gay slurs.
Congress has yet to pass ENDA, a federal bill that would simply prohibit discrimination in employment because of sexual orientation.
The United States military continues to terminate GLBT service members, in higher numbers than ever, simply because they were investigated or told on themselves. Because of the physical danger of being beaten or killed by homophobic comrades, more GLBT military personnel are announcing they are gay, in order to be discharged to escape danger. Some branches of the military have had to lower testing standards in order to fill their ranks.
In some parts of the world, GLBT people are subject to arrest, imprisonment, torture and even death, simply because of their sexual orientation.
Yes, there is still plenty of work to do, regarding justice, equity and compassion in human relations. For many of you, work for social justice is not new, but now, you have taken on a new level of commitment.
You can be proud of yourselves, both for your overwhelmingly affirmative vote, and also for the consciousness-raising this church went through to get to this place. While the outcome could be called a "politically correct" one, it came as a result of hard work, and learning and challenging old views. We are all the better for it, and I thank you for the role you invited me to play in the past year. I've learned from you, as I hope you have learned from me. Thank you.
The sermon in a Unitarian Universalist setting is never the last word on any subject, but rather an invitation to further dialog.
You may want to read other visitors' comments on Deborah S. Smith's "Where Do We Go From Here?" .
If you wish to add your own comments on this sermon, please enter your name, e-mail address, city, state or province, country, and of course your comments into the following form: